Life
by suzy5
Summary: Life is sometimes hard, but if you just believe in yourself... things will start to happen. Marthie
1. Chapter 1

Seventh Heaven is not mine, nor any of the characters, except for Thomas.

Hope you enjoy!

_Ruth_

21 year old Ruth Camden sat in her red Mercedes trying to decide if she should go into her childhood home.

She hadn't been home for a while and the only reason she was there was because she was reassured by her mother that Martin had an overnight business trip and would not be present.

It would be easier anyway to say what she had to say to her family without him there demanding to know why she was making such a drastic change in her life.

After the whole ' Sandy' incident as Ruth liked to call it, her and Martin had a rough time trying to save their friendship.

She was too hurt and embarrassed and who knew what Martin had thought.

It became much easier after Thomas was born and Ruth had left to college. In college she was able to finally get over the hurt and disappointment she felt.

Plus once Simon and Sandy got engaged, it became easier to actually like her. Sandy, who had always wanted a friendship with Ruth, took that opportunity and called her and visited her as often as possible.

How could you not like someone like that, plus she made Simon so happy.

Of course when Martin had shown up for her graduation party and surprised her with a brand new cheery red Mercedes, she made the mistake of blurting out her true feelings.

The only saving grace was that it was in private.

When she had finally realized that she had said it out loud, she remembered turning around, not even giving Martin the chance to respond.

Since then she did a great job of showing up when she knew for sure that he would not be there.

_Martin_

It had been 6 years since Martin Brewer had last seen Ruth Camden.

In fact the last time he saw her was when she told him she loved him and then ran away. After that incident she had refused to come any where near him.

Of course he tried numerous ways of trying to speak to her, but she avoided each call and email as one would avoid a snake's home. All in all it was pretty discouraging.

It also forced him to realize that maybe she didn't really love him.

As he sat at his desk looking over his case notes, his eyes fell to a picture of Ruth and him.

It was at the last new year's eve party that Simon and Sandy had thrown.

They looked so happy together. Of course it was all a show. By some unwritten agreement, the two had decided long ago not to let anyone else know just how dramatically their friendship had changed.

_Ruth_

"Ruth!" her mother exclaimed as I walked up the front steps into the hallway. "You look wonderful"

"Thanks" I replied blushing lightly.

Compliments was something I was still getting use to and it always made me a little uneasy, as though the person only saw the outer me and not the inner me.

"Ruth" I heard a loud voice before I was attacked by Lucy "How is my favorite medical resident?"

"Doing okay" I said hesitantly as I took a deep breath.

Always count on Lucy to bring up something I was not willing to talk about.

"Auntie Ruth" Thom yelled running to my legs and squealing when I picked him up. He looked exactly like Martin, only in a smaller version.

His green eyes were sparkling as he asked me "Did you bring me anything special?"

"Thomas" Sandy scolded as she took him from me and gave me a hug "How are you Ruth?"

"Okay" I replied as she looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe later" I replied as she nodded and Simon came up to hug me.

"How's married life treating you?" I teasingly asked him as he smiled and said "Great so far. How is Bobby doing?"

_Why was my family so nosy? _I thought before saying "Alright, I guess"

"You guess?" my mother repeated suspiciously. _I swear that woman must have been a hawk in a former life. _

"We've had a disagreement" I began slowly as everyone stopped to look at me.

I could see the excitment in Sandy's eyes and Lucy and my mom looked worried, while Simon, Kevin and my dad were clenching their fists.

"Well he doesn't necessarily agree with a recent decision I've made, but can't it wait till dessert? I'm starving"

Everyone started laughing as we all sat down and my dad said grace.

"So" Lucy began as we were all in the living room with cheesecake and coffee.

"Well I'm thinking that I may not want to return to Medical school" I said quietly as everyone stared back at me dumbfounded.

"Why not?" My dad finally asked as I looked up, biting my lower lip and praying that I wouldn't start bawling again.

"I'm not really happy" I began as a voice called out.

"Hello? Anyone here?"

"We're in the living room" my mom replied as Martin Brewer walked in and said in a joking manner "I know I promised I would stop working so much, but there is no need for an intervention"

Kevin and my dad laughed while the women looked at me to see how I would react to Martin being there.

It was just at this moment that Martin noticed me and he paled a little before composing himself and walking over to me, smiling and saying "How are ya stranger?"

I couldn't help it, I loved his smile. It was so infectious. It always made things a little bit better and he was gorgous. How could you not react to someone like that?

"Not too bad" I replied before getting up and hugging him. I could smell his cologne and the warmth in his embrace.

We pulled apart, both slightly red and Martin asked smiling "is there still dinner for me? I'm starving"

Everyone laughed as Annie replied "You sound just like Ruth" and went into the kitchen.

Martin smiled a little wistfully and replied "well great minds think alike" as he followed Annie.

I watched him leave and then focused my attention back to my family who were all looking at me with knowing little grins.

_When would they stop? _I angrily questioned myself and then blurted out "I quit medical school to become a singer"

Dead silence filled the room as Sandy replied "Do you have a contract?"

"Yes I have it here, I was going to show it to Martin to see if it was all sound" _Nice, I congratulated myself. This way they will see that I am thinking logically._

"Well that's a good start" my dad replied slowly and said "I thought medical school was something you wanted?"

_I did want it until my cheating, lying boyfriend decided to sleep with my ex-best friend since I was always studying. _

I shrugged and then said "I did minor in Music" as my mom came back and said "what did I miss?"

"Ruth dropped out of medical school" Lucy chimed in as my mom turned to me and asked "Honey, I thought that medical school was something you wanted"

"You know" I began as I sat up "This is why I do not come home as often. I just told you that I am unhappy, that I have an excellent chance to record an album and all everyone can think about is the fact that I am not doing what I _thought_ I wanted to do"

"Calm down Ruth" my dad began before I started pacing and replied angrily "No I won't calm down! I can't stand it anymore. You would think for once you would just say 'great honey, if this is what you want go for it'. It's not as though I have a family preventing me from doing this."

"We're sorry" My mom said quickly as she noticed the tears falling and I walked out of the living room and ran into Martin.

"Hey, what's the matter?" he asked concerned as he wrapped his arms around me

"Just take me away from here" I stated as he said "let's go"


	2. Chapter 2

**Life**

**Lyrics from Instant Star**

_Martin_

As we walked outside into my car, I could see Ruth taking deep breaths.

"Do you have an idea where you want to go?"

"Do you mind if we got to your place? Then I could just crash there"

"Sure" I replied softly as she went to hercar and grabbed her bag.

Once we were driving she said "I dropped out of Medical school because I want to record and sing and travel"

"Really?" I questioned cautiously before asking "Do you have a contract that I could look at?"

"Yes" she replied sighing softly and leaning back before adding "Could we stop and get pizza as well? I'm still hungry"

"Sure, they have a great place that delivers" I replied lightly as my heart skipped a beat. The next thing out of her mouth would be a movie marathon in 5...4…3…2….1…

"We should have a movie marathon" she cried out excitedly as her brown eyes sparkled at me and then added "Of course, if you don't have to be up too early"

"I could take a day off" I replied back as she squealed and grabbed my arm saying "great, let's stop at Blockbuster"

Once we got to Blockbusters, Ruth said "I'll be right back"

"Uh no missy, the rules are we make the movie decision together" I said firmly as she turned to me and pouted saying "I just had a horrible day, make an exception this once…please?"

"Okay" I relented sighing. _How could I say no to the pout? _

Once we got to my place and I ordered the pizza, Ruth walked to my hall closet and pulled her guitar out.

It was something she use to do in high school, when we were supposed to be studying.

"So are you going to play me your song?" I asked her as I took my suit jacket off and loosened my tie.

"Sure" she replied as she sat down on the couch and started strumming.

_Oh, I remember on the 4th of July  
That's when I learned it was true  
The stories of taboo  
How could you do it if your love was true  
And still want to be in my life  
And make no sacrifice  
Now you come and tell me  
That you're really sorry  
And ask to be in my life again_

Oh no there's no way to begin  
Or start love over  
Oh no lovemaking will there be here tonight  
Oh don't you sigh  
Or come cryin' on my shoulder  
Should've thought about the consequences then  
You and my best friend

Oh I recall the pain it hurt so bad  
I didn't have the strength to live  
But I was just too young to die  
See I have had my heart broken before  
But never like this  
I admit it baby left me feeling scorned  
Now the love inside my heart is fading  
The trust of my man and my best friend betrayed  


I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. That ass cheated on her?

_Oh no there's no way to begin  
Or start love over  
Oh no lovemaking will there be here tonight  
Oh don't you sigh  
Or come cryin' on my shoulder  
Should've thought about the consequences then  
You and my best friend_

How could you do that to me  
And tell me that our love would always be  
Always be

Oh no there's no way to begin  
Or start love over  
Oh no lovemaking will there be here tonight  
Oh don't you sigh  
Or come cryin' on my shoulder  
Should've thought about the consequences then  
You and my best friend

When she stopped playing, I saw her wipe away the tears and then smile at me asking "So? What do you think?"

"I think you are pretty talented. Where's the contract? I would like to go over it tomorrow" she got up and handed me the folder as the doorbell rang.

"It's probably the pizza guy. There's some money in my wallet, I'm going to take a quick shower"

"Okay" she replied as I walked upstairs to the master bedroom.

_Ruth_

20 minutes later, Martin finally came down barefoot with sweats on. He should have been arrested for looking that good.

"You know" I began teasingly "Most guys don't take that long"

"I was really quick" he protested as he grabbed a slice and sat next to me.

"So what's on the schedule for tonight?"

"A Walk to Remember and The Notebook" I replied taking a sip of water.

"Are you kidding me?" he asked in disbelief sitting upright.

"Must I remind you how horrible my day was?" I repeated as he slouched down, pouting slightly and mumbling.

_Martin_

I woke up the next morning, feeling stiff yet content.

I could smell the faint aroma of strawberries and as I turned my head, I saw Ruth asleep.

We must have fallen asleep last night. I slowly got up and stretched as I made my way to the kitchen. From previous experience, Ruth was always in a better mood when she had some coffee.

Sure enough she came in a few minutes later and took the mug that I handed to her. As she grabbed a bagel and sat down at the counter I decided to ask the question on my mind.

"So Bobby cheated?"

"Yes" she said softly as she placed the bagel on the counter and continued "It wasn't as though I was in love with him, but it hurt just the same"

I nodded as she continued "I just couldn't stay there after and medical school was beginning to be a drag. I have no passion for it. I'm good at it, but how is that going to help people? I just want to sing"

"Your contract states that you will record in New York"

"Yes, unless I make negotiations to stay here"

"Would you?" I ask as I studied my bagel.

"If I had a good reason to"

"It would mean being closer to your family"

"Martin, come on. You know how crazy they get" she replied.

"They love you and just want what's best for you"

"I know that" she replied snapping before taking a deep breath and apologizing "Sorry. I'm a little on edge. I'm going to take a shower and then maybe we can get real breakfast?"

"Sure" I replied as she threw me a grateful smile and ran upstairs.

"Morning" Sandy called out as she came in with a bag of groceries.

"Hey" I said as I took the bags from her "Where's Thom?"

"Out with Simon. Is Ruthie still here?"

"Yes, she's taking a shower"

"So, what does the contract look like? Is it legit?"

"Pretty much. They are offering her a great deal and she is talented."

"That's what I figured. Is she still upset at everyone?"

"Well I'm not sure; I managed to upset her already"

"Well she'll come around, as she always does" Sandy replied sympathetically before looking at me and saying "This is your chance to get it right Martin" and with that she left.

_Ruth_

After my shower, I changed into my jeans and a shirt and went in search of Martin. As I passed by his bedroom, I noticed the rumpled sheets on his bed.

_He never liked making his bed up._ I smiled ruefully as I finally found him downstairs in his study, with his glasses on studying.

"Since when did you start wearing glasses, old man?" I teased Martin who jumped up and said "You frightened me"

"I frightened you? Who are you and what did you do to my best friend?"

"I could say the same about you" he replied as he took a step closer to me.

"What do you mean?' I nervously inquired. The look in Martin's green eyes were definitely predatorily.

"Let's start with never answering any of calls, or emails or letters"

"Well, I have been busy…."

"Or how about saying you love me and then walking out before I even have a chance to respond?"

"Well what was I suppose to do? I said it and the look in your eyes were of shock. I wasn't going to wait for you to gently turn me down"

"How do you know what the hell I was going to do?" he roared at me as I took another step back and replied "What was I suppose to think Martin. I was not the one to go and get someone pregnant"

"Are we still on this Ruth? It's been 6 years. Thomas is here and everything and anything that you try to do to ignore it is futile. I'm sorry I screwed up, I'm sorry I lied, but I can't keep apologizing every time we are together. I can't keep trying to make up for this mistake. I know it is horrible, but we have to deal with it. I love you, I want to be with you, but not like this, not when you are too focused on the fact that I have a child out if wedlock." Martin looked at me exhausted and said "I'm going to go for a run. I just need some time" and with that left.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for your reviews. I am glad you like this so far. I wasn't sure if it was a great idea.

Once again I do not own any Seventh Heaven characters. Lyrics from Instant Star.

_Ruth_

Martin brushed by me and a few minutes later I heard the front door slam shut.

I closed my eyes before walking around his den. He had pictures of my entire family at various functions on his wall. I supposed that was because they were his family as well.

Thom's pictures also adorned the wall and when I sat in his chair, I saw the picture of us on his desk.

That picture was taken at the New Year's party that Sandy and Simon had thrown. I smiled as I remembered we had actually gotten along that night.

Although that was partly because of the champagne that was freely being passed around. We looked really great together as though we were made for each other despite the fact that we sometimes couldn't agree on what the color the sky was.

As I recalled Martin's words, part of me knew he was right. I did keep bringing up his mistake with Sandy even though I tried not to.

It was just really hard, and I suppose I never really dealt with it. However, how was I suppose to deal with it?

Plus, in all honesty I didn't want to record so far away from my family. I wanted to stay in Glen Oak, but how would that affect Martin and being so close to him?

Especially because Thom was very much a part of his life. I knew I wasn't jealous of Thom and I adored him, but a relationship with a man that had a child made it harder on everyone else.

Simon and Sandy were lucky that they had found one another.

As I walked out of the den and into the kitchen, I grabbed a second cup of coffee and sat down with my guitar and began strumming some notes as the words flowed from the pen to my sheet

_I drift away to a place  
Another kind of life  
Take away the pain  
I create my paradise _

Everything I've held  
Has hit the wall  
What used to be yours  
Isn't yours at all

Falling apart, and all that I'm asking  
Is it a crime, am I overreacting

_Oh, he's under my skin  
Just give me something to get rid of him  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive  
Another little white lie _

So what you had didn't fit  
Among the pretty things  
Never fear, never fear  
I now know where you've been

Falling apart and all that I question  
Is this a dream or is this my lesson

_I don't believe I'll be alright  
I don't believe I'll be OK  
I don't believe how you've thrown me away  
I do believe you didn't try  
I do blame you for every lie  
When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine _

Oh, he's under my skin  
Just give me something to get rid of him  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive  
Another little white lie

Oh my permission to sin  
You might have started my reckoning  
I've got a reason now to bury him alive  
Another little white lie

_Martin_

By the time I made it back on my street, I was starting to feel slightly guilty. I hadn't meant to attack Ruth the way I did, but she was so damn frustrating at times.

I suppose if I was being completely honest I would admit to the fact that at times I felt guilty for being so in love with her.

I mean her family took me in and treated me as their son and I knew she could be with anyone she wanted, they probably wouldn't love her as half as much as I did, but she would make any man happy.

I walked in through the back door as I heard the last notes on Ruth's guitar before she started strumming a different tune.

_You said you didn't need me (but you did)  
You said you didn't want me (but you do)  
It's kinda like a comedy  
Well first you kiss me  
Then you say we're through  
I say you got some issues (yeah, you do)  
Some things you gotta work through (really do)  
It's sorta like a talk show, no wait a freak show  
When the freak is you _

I'm the smoke from your fire  
I'm that guy you can trust  
I'm the cord on your guitar  
I'm that girl you can't shut up  
I'm that blood you might need  
In your car way in your speed  
In that cigarette you breath  
You can't get rid of me

I took a deep breath as I walked into the living room and when she saw that I was back raised her right eyebrow before continuing

_You said I wasn't funny (but you laughed)  
You said I couldn't drive fast (then you crashed)  
Funny how it works out  
With your big mouth  
You'll always get it back (ha ha ha ha)  
You thought you had me worked out (you're not deep)  
Mister "I screw up" bounced (ha ha ha ha)  
At best you could've confessed  
That you're a big mess  
And that you're so damn weak _

Was she referring to me? I thought to myself as she continued glaring at me and singing

But still, I try and justify  
Try to let this die  
We'll never say goodbye I can't wait  
I'll rub it in your face  
_Dressed in pretty lace  
I'll send you home, to cry _

Ha ha ha ha ha  
Ha ha ha ha ha  
Ha ha ha I'm the blood you might need  
In your car way in your speed  
In that cigarette you breath  
You can't get rid of me  
Yeah, yeah

Ha ha ha ha ha  
Ha ha ha ha ha  
Ha ha ha Can't get rid of me

Ruth then proceeded to place her guitar on the stand and looked at me as she said "Would you mind taking me home?"

"Look" I began as she tiredly held her hand up and interrupted me "Let's just save the song and dance for another time. I'm hungry and angry and I need to make a decision as you so eloquently stated, so let's just table it for a few days"

"A few days?" I repeated in disbelief before adding "So that you can decide to ignore me again? I don't think so. It's really an easy decision Ruth. Either you want to be with me or not"

"I guess not" Ruth shot back hotly as her eyes widened at the statement she just made.

I clenched my jaw trying hard not to react to what came as a shock to me. _Did she really not want someone with a child? Was I reading the wrong signs?_

"Let me take a shower and we'll go or better yet" I said as I handed her my car keys "Take my car and I'll get Simon to pick it up later"

"Martin..." Ruth began but I turned to her and said "I think we both said enough for today, don't you?"

And with that I walked upstairs, as I realized that I had just lost the one hope that I had been holding onto since the day I first met Ruth Camden, that one day she would become my wife.


	4. Chapter 4

Life 4

_Ruth_

As Martin walked up the stairs, I anxiously thought what I could say to take it all back.

However I knew there was nothing to say, at least not now.

As I got into his car, the tears started falling. I couldn't believe I just threw away the chance to finally be with Martin Brewer.

I couldn't go home, especially since I had left them in such a huff, the only other place I could go to was Lucy.

Once I got to Lucy's office, it was as if she was waiting for me.

She took one glance at me and said "Did you and Martin have a fight?"

I shook my head no as I started whimpering and said "I told him I didn't want to be him"

"Do you mean it?" she asked quietly as she gave me a hug and rubbed my back and I shook my head no. "I was just upset and he was so demanding about it, I just said and he probably hates me and will never talk to me again"

"Well I'm sure he doesn't hate you, but Ruthie" Lucy stopped and looked me in the eye "Do you love him? Do you want to be with him?"

"I love him, but I don't know. I mean I just made this huge decision and I just don't want any additional pressure, you know?"

"Yes and I'm sure Martin would have understood; however you have to go back and talk to him and make him realize that what you said was out of anger"

"Lucy, I don't think I can face him right now"

"Well you have to do it now, before its too late"

"Fine" I replied pouting slightly as Lucy laughed at me and gave me another hug "If you want to stay tonight, just let me know"

"Thanks but I'm going to go back and hand in my contract"

"Are you going to stay here?"

"No. I think it's best that I move to New York. See the world a bit, get use to living by myself"

"Kevin and I will come and visit often" Lucy promised as she gave me another hug and ushered me out the door.

"Now go back and apologize to Martin"

"Okay" I replied smiling slightly and walking out the door.

I stopped by the house and picked my car up, since I figured I would leave and go home after seeing Martin.

As I walked up his steps, I felt slightly sick to my stomach.

How do you tell the man you've been in love with forever that you spoke too soon?

Before I had the chance to ring the doorbell, Sandy opened it up.

She looked at me with great concern and said "Please tell me you came back to apologize?"

"Yes I did" I admitted as I looked down.

Sandy sighed with relief and said "Good, I'm not too sure if he is going to see you though"

"That's fine as well" I said biting my lower lip as Sandy stepped back and said "I'm sorry, come on in" as I gave her a smile and stepped into the hallway.

I could see that Thom was sitting at the table eating dinner.

"Simon's working late and since we all know I can't cook if my life depended on it we came here. Martin makes the best homemade macaroni and cheese"

"Homemade?" I asked slightly as my spirits lifted. I was hungry.

"Yes" Sandy replied laughing before saying "Look I just told Martin and since you are here, you may as well know"

"What is it?" I asked concerned that something was wrong.

"Simon and I are going to have a baby"

"Congratulations" I exclaimed happily as I gave her a hug. I then turned to walk into the kitchen to help myself to the macaroni and cheese. It was delicious.

"Thanks" she replied as she returned the hug.

Just then Martin came down the stairs and stopped suddenly when he noticed me there.

"I'll just leave you two alone" as she walked past Martin and gave him a smile.

Martin looked at me and coldly said "Did you forget to say something else earlier?"

"I'm sorry for what I said" I apologized, ignoring his hostile tone "I didn't mean it"

"I'm sorry I pushed you for an answer" Martin replied softly as he looked down at the floor before looking me straight in the eye.

"So I'm going to record in New York"

"Do you need anyplace to stay?"

"No. I'm sure they will find me something"

"Well don't be a stranger" Martin advised quietly as I smiled and said "I'll try not to be." and with that I walked out.

_Martin_

"Did you two figure everything out?" Sandy questioned as I walked into the dining room where Thom was still eating.

"No. she apologized and then said she was going to record in New York"

"Well she needs some time" Sandy said softly as she placed a hand on my arm "I mean how fair is it to ask her to stay here for you?"

"I wasn't planning on doing that" I exclaimed as Sandy raised her eyebrow and I chuckled before saying "Maybe"

"You know she loves you right?" Sandy finally asked me as I shrugged.

"Martin, don't be a jerk. Of course she loves you. Anyone can see that when you two are together. It's hard for her"

"Why does everyone say that?"

"Because it is. Think of it this way. How would you feel if Ruth lost her virginity to someone other than you, and someone she didn't want to be with?"

"Hurt, disappointed, angry"

"Exactly and then to find out in front of your entire family, who know the truth and haven't said a word?"

"Embarrassed"

"Yes and despite that she was the first one to invite me to come in for Thanksgiving. She was friendly and welcoming when she had every right to be mean and judgmental"

"That's what makes her wonderful" I replied smiling slightly.

"Yes I know" Sandy agreed as she said "Just give it some time, she'll come around."

"You promise?"

"Generally no, but with you and Ruth? Definitely." Sandy stood up and said to Thom "It's time to go buddy"

"No, I want to stay with Daddy"

"Let him stay Sandy. I could use the company"

"Okay , will you drop him off at school as well?"

"Sure" I replied as Sandy gave Thom a kiss and waved goodbye.

"Time for bed buddy" I said to Thom as he raced upstairs to his room to put his pajamas on, brushed his teeth and said his bedtime prayers.

After I tucked him in, I went into my study and made a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Hey"

"Martin, buddy! How are you? How is Thomas?" Mac asked grinning

"Doing well. He's getting pretty big"

"Well that's good to hear. So what's on your mind"

"Well Ruth is moving to New York"

"Ruth Camden? She is still a Camden right? You haven't convinced her to marry you yet?"

"Well at this point, that may not be happening anytime soon"

"Oh juicy story..proceed"

"The point is that I was wondering if you could keep an eye on her, you know act as though you happened to run in to her?"

"Sure I could do that, but do you think that maybe, if she is ok with it... would you mind if I asked her out?"

I closed my eyes and counted to ten before replying. Realistically I had no right to say yes. Ruth had made the fact very clear that a relationship with me, as of now, would not be happening.

"Look, if you do ask her out, don't tell me"

"Deal" Mac promised as he said "I'll call you in a couple of days"

"Thanks" Once I hung the phone up, I checked on Thom and went to bed.

It had been a long and exhausting day and I hoped that tomorrow would be better.

**Three months later**

_Martin_

As Mac promised, he gave me a biweekly update on how Ruth was doing and how happy she was.

As I had predicted, she became a star almost overnight and she was usually in some paper.

Her newest song Commitment was pretty popular. All the radio stations had started playing it and would not stop.

The first time I heard it I got chills. I wasn't sure if the song was for me or for anyone who was interested in pursuing a relationship with her.

_What I'm looking' for  
Is a love that's forever  
Someone who can capture my soul in a heartbeat  
And stay for all time  
What I'm praying' for  
Is a match made in heaven  
Someone who will worship my body  
And still put his heart on the line _

Commitment  
Someone who'll go the distance  
I need somebody who'll stand power  
And make me go weak in the knees  
Commitment  
And everything that goes with it  
I need honor and love in my life from somebody  
Who's playing' for keeps

What I'm searching for  
Is a man who'll stand by me  
Who will walk through the fire  
And be my flame in the night  
I won't settle for  
Less than what I deserve  
A friend and a lover who'll love me  
For the rest of my life

Yeah I've had promises broken  
Three words left unspoken  
They just left me aching' for more  
But I've found temptation  
I won't be impatient  
There's one thing that's worth waiting' for

Commitment  
And everything that goes with it  
I need honor and love in my life from somebody  
Who's playing' for keeps

Late one afternoon I walked into the house and saw The Post. Ruth was on the front page with some guy leaving a restaurant.

Her face was towards the camera and she was smiling. She looked gorgeous as I noticed her shiny brunette locks had grown longer and she seemed taller in heels. All in all she had grown up right before my eyes.

I took a deep breath before calling her cell phone.

"Hello?" a deep male voice said as I looked at the number, wondering if I had the wrong number.

"Is Ruth there by any chance?"

"May I ask who this is?"

"Martin"

"Martin Brewer?"

"Yes"

"Hold on" a few minutes later I heard Ruth's husky voice "Hey stranger" she said

"Hey yourself. How are things?"

"You mean other than that stupid picture in the post? Fine." I laughed in relief as I teasingly said "That's the price of fame"

"Don't I know it"

"So what else is new?"

"We are shooting the video for 'Commitment' tomorrow"

"Cool. And the shoot is where?"

" In Central Park." she replied before saying "Martin?"

"Yes"

"Commitment. I..un wrote for you, I just want you to know that"

"Thanks" I replied touched.

"So when are you going to come and visit?" she demanded, changing the subject.

"I have a conference next week, so we can probably have lunch or dinner, depending on your schedule"

"Where are you staying?' she asked as I answered "the Hilton"

"No, stay with me, that way you can see Mac as well"

"Is he living there with you?"

"Not officially but he is always over. It will be fun, like old times"

"Yeah" I replied as I realized that Mac never told me how often he saw Ruth before saying "Well I will call you when I get to JFK"

"Great, I can't wait to see you"

"Me too" I replied automatically before I heard Ruth say "Martin?"

"Hmm?"

"I miss you"

"I've miss you too. I"ll see you next week"


	5. Chapter 5

Life 5

Lyrics are from Lee ann Rimes, Letters to Cleo. I don't own any Seventh Heaven characters, except for Thomas.

_Ruth_

"Guess who's coming for a visit and staying here next week?" I asked Mac that night as we were in my kitchen cooking dinner together.

"Umm...could it be someone who is 6 feet tall and 2 inches, black hair and green eyes?"

"How did you know?" I pouted slightly as Mac laughed and said "Well you wouldn't let just anyone stay here"

"That's true" I replied as I said to him "so spill"

"Spill what?" he asked mischievously, his brown eyes lighting up with mirth.

"How was the date last night?"

"Not too bad, considering she is not my dream girl"

"Yeah right. She is absolutely beautiful." I scoffed.

"Not as beautiful as you" Mac said softly as I looked over at him and he said quickly "I know... I know. You have your heart set on being Mrs. Martin Brewer"

"Stop it" I protested as I threw a pepper over at him.

"Well come on, tell me the truth. Martin? He's the one isn't he?"

"Yes" I replied honestly before turning my attention back to the vegetables I was chopping.

The next morning, I woke up and took a shower.

We were going to shoot my video in the afternoon but I wanted to go into the studio to record a new song I was working on.

I got to the studio at 10:00 and went into the booth and began singing

_Oh, I can't take another heartache  
Though you say you're my friend  
I'm at my wits end  
You say your love is bona fide  
But that don't coincide  
With the things that you're doing  
When I ask you to be nice  
You say you gotta be _

Cruel to be kind, in the right measure  
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign  
Cruel to be kind, means that I love you  
Baby, you gotta be cruel to be kind

Well, I do my best to understand dear  
But you still mystify, and I wanna know why _  
I pick myself up off the ground  
To have you knock me back down  
Again and again  
And when I ask you to explain  
You say you gotta be _

Cruel to be kind, in the right measure  
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign  
Cruel to be kind, means that I love you  
Baby, (you gotta be cruel)you gotta be cruel to be kind

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...

Cruel to be kind, in the right measure  
Cruel to be kind, it's a very good sign  
Cruel to be kind, means that I love you  
Baby, (you gotta be cruel)you gotta be cruel to be kind

"Sounds great Camden" Ritchie, my producer, said as he gave me a thumbs up.

I smiled at him as I took the headphones off and walked into the room.

"You ready for today?" he asked as he handed me a cup of herbal tea.

"Yes." I replied nodding as he leaned closer "So have you thought about my offer?"

I rolled my eyes and counted to ten before answering "Ritchie? You are my producer. I respect youand that's all. I'm not interested in a relationship with you"

"Is it because of Mac?"

"What about me?" Mac asked as he came up and slipped his arm around my shoulder.

I smiled at him gratefully as Ritchie turned red and mumbled "I'm going to go and finish that track" and with that left.

"I could kiss you right now" I exclaimed to Mac as I turned to him happily.

"Well by all means go ahead" Mac shot back daring me.

"Let's just go eat" I replied as I playfully shoved him and he held his hand to his heart.

The rest of the week went by quickly and before I knew it I was in JFK with Mac, waiting for Martin's plane.

"Are you sure you told him we would be here?" I asked for the millionth time as I self-consciously adjusted my dress straps.

"You look wonderful Ruth" Mac said seriously as he grabbed my hand and said "Stop fussing"

I smiled gratefully at him before turning my attention back to the gate where Martin would be coming through any moment.

Mac really was a great friend and I knew he would be a wonderful partner if I wasn't so head over heels in love with Martin.

I couldn't believe how a couple of months could put everything in perspective, but I now knew that I wanted to be as close to Martin as he would allow me to be.

All at once I noticed Martin as he looked at us.

He gave us a big smile as his green eyes lit up with recognition. We met him halfway and before he said anything at all I threw myself in his arms and gave him a hug.

He smelled like the forest and soap as I snuggled deeper in his chest. I could hear him chuckling as he said "I missed you too"

Mac chuckled and said "Hey Ruth, desperate much"

I turned bright red as I pulled back and Martin smiled at me before grabbing my hand "I was going to do the same thing but you beat me to it"

I smiled back gratefully before allowing Mac to greet Martin as well.

"Do you have bags to get?" I asked as he replied "I have everything with me" holding up a small suitcase and suit holder.

"So where first?" Mac asked Martin as we started walking out the airport.

I dropped Martin's hand momentarily before putting a huge floppy hat on my head.

Once it was on, I grabbed his hand once more as he gently squeezed it before answering Mac "Anywhere is fine with me, I just need to get to a computer and check a couple of things out"

"Still working man?"

"Well it is what I do best"

"How about a game of basketball?" Mac suggested as Martin's eyes lit up and looked at me apologetically as I shrugged and said "Sure you guys have fun. I have my shoot and then we can meet up for dinner at home"

"Cool" Martin and Mac replied as they hailed a cab and I hailed another one.

_Martin_

As Mac chattered on about living in New York and all the things Ruth and him did, I sighed. "She looks great"

"Yes she does" Mac automatically agreed and then asked "Wait. Who are we talking about?"

"Ruth"

"Of course we are. There is no other woman out there for Martin Brewer" Mac intoned deeply.

"Please drop it" I pleaded as Mac laughed and said "Well, what if I were to tell you that the feeling is definitely not one sided"

"What do you mean?" I demanded anxiously as Mac grinned and replied "Sorry my friend. I have already said too much, but I will do you a favor and not come over for dinner. That way you can flirt and not gross me out at the same time"

"Hey!" I protested and then grew serious and said "Thanks man"

"You are welcome. I only hope I find someone as special as Ruthie" Mac replied softly and then said "Are you ready to get your butt wiped on the court?"

"In your dreams man" I replied laughing.

Threehours later I took the cab back to the address that Ruth had given me. When I rang the door, she came out wearing an apron.

"Hey" she greeted as she let me in. "How was the game?"

"It was good" I replied looking around. It was a cute apartment with a lot of windows.

"So do you like it?" she asked anxiously as she gave me a short tour.

"It's great" I replied honestly as she beamed at me.

"I need a shower" I said self consciously as I noticed how wonderful she looked wearing navy linen pants and matching top. She also had heels on.

"The bathroom's down the hall" she indicated as she turned her attention back to the pot she was stirring and called out "Is pasta okay?"

"It's fine" I replied before stepping inside the shower.

Once I got out, I noticed that the table was fixed and Ruth was sitting on the couch.

"Is dinner ready?" I asked hopefully as she smiled and said "Yes. I hope you're hungry"

After dinner, we sat back on the couch. She seemed so happy and so relaxed.

It was almost as though she was the Ruth in high school, before I had shattered her dreams.

"You seem so happy" I said out loud as Ruth turned to me and smiled saying "I am"

"I'm glad" I sincerely replied smiling as Ruth moved closer to me and asked "Don't you want to know why?"

"Well if you want to tell me, sure" I replied thinking the worst.

"I'm in love" she said it so softly that I didn't hear it at first but the look on her face said it all. Contentment and happiness radiated from her.

"That's wonderful" I replied a little stiffly before asking "Who's the lucky guy? Someone I know?"

"Yes" she said as she leaned her curly head on my chest. I wrapped my arm around her and held her close. If this was goodbye then I intended to make sure that she would know exactly how I felt.

"So aren't you curious who the guy is ?" Ruth questioned me as she leaned up and planted butterfly kisses near my ear, causing me in turn to shiver.

"Not really" I managed to let out before she kissed my cheek.

"Martin" she exclaimed in frustration as she stood up.

"What?" I asked in shock. One minute she was kissing me and the next moment she was pacing. What the hell had happened?

"The guy I'm in love with?"

_Oh so she wants me to play this game_ I thought to myself before sighing and saying "Sure, who is this guy that has captured your heart?"

"Better" she replied softly before walking right up to me and wrapping her arms around my waist.

As I looked down in confusion she smiled at me and said "I'm in love with you Martin Brewer" and with that she leaned up and kissed me on my lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Life 6**

_Martin_

She pulled away slightly to gauge my reaction and I smiled at her slightly before asking "Did you just say that you are in love with me?" as she nodded her and I pulled her closer to me and kissed her.

I couldn't believe that she had finally admitted it! When we pulled apart, we sat back on the couch and I said hesitantly "That's great that you love me, but where exactly does that leave us?"

"What do you mean?" she questioned as I took a deep breath and said "I want to marry you. Is that something you see for the future?"

"Well I suppose so" she replied as she frowned slightly and slumped down.

"I just need to know your intentions. I don't want to confuse Thomas if you are not planning on being a permanent fixture in my life"

"Martin, I just told you I love you, what more do you want from me?"

"Something tangible" I replied honestly as she looked at me sadly before asking "You think I'm going to walk away?"

"You did it four months ago, what's to say it won't happen again, when something doesn't go your way?"

"I can't believe we are having this conversation" Ruth fumed as I sighed and grabbed her hand, forcing her to look me in the face.

When she did, I could see the unshed tears in her eyes and I spoke very softly "I just want you to be sure Ruth. I love you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but if you can't make that same promise to me, this will not work."

She nodded slightly as she stood up "I understand"

"So?" I anxiously whispered as she smiled once more and said "I'm in for the long haul Brewer, so I expect a nice blue box from Tiffany any day now. Good night" and with that she kissed my cheek and walked out of the living room.

I smiled in amazement before lightly touching the spot she just kissed. Ruth Camden had just agreed to become my wife.

Around 12:00 that night my cell phone was ringing off the hook.

"H'llo"

"Martin?" Lucy's frantic voice replied.

"What?" I answered fully awake as I sat up in bed.

"It's Sandy and Simon" and I heard the ambulance in the background.

"What about them?" _Lucy sometimes could be a bit melodramatic_ I silently thought.

"They were coming home from my house and were hit by a drunk driver..."

"Thomas, what about him?"

"He was in the car as well"

"And?"

"Martin, you need to come home now. We are at the hospital in Glen Oak"

I jumped out of bed and ran down the hall to Ruth's room and turned the light on.

"Five more minutes" she mumbled and turned over when I said loudly "Ruth, there's been an accident at home"

She jumped out of bed and quickly threw on a pair of jeans as I sat down on her bed, slightly starting to hyperventilate.

I couldn't believe this was happening. I remembered yesterday I had promised Thomas I would have a surprise for him when I came back home. He had been so sad when I told him I was going to New York and had begged me to stay with him.

"Martin?" a voice questioned from far away.

"Martin?" I looked up to see Ruth standing before me, with a jacket and keys. "Let's go" she softly commanded as I numbly nodded my head and then said "I don't know where my tickets are or my wallet or my cell…"

"Calm down Martin. I have everything we will need, let's go"

As we walked out her apartment, there was a cab waiting for us. The ride to the airport was silent, except for a couple of times when Ruth was on the phone speaking to certain people and letting them know the situation.

The last call she made was to Mac and I heard him say that he would meet us in Glen Oak.

Once we were seated on the plane, I realized that Lucy refused to tell me Thomas's status. I turned to look at Ruth, who was pale and looked shaken. The jeans she had thrown on were ripped and she had slipped on an old baseball hat on.

She glanced at me and took my hand giving it a slight squeeze and reassuringly whispered "We are almost there"

I nodded and turned away from her. I was starting to feel numb and sick to my stomach. Maybe it had been a mistake to leave my son at home. What sort of father does that anyway? How many times did I promise myself I wouldn't be like my dad and just leave my kids at home because of work?

Once we got to Glen Oak and out the airport, there was a car waiting for us that took us straight to the hospital.

In the cab, Ruth took my hand and I shoved it off before tightly saying "Please don't touch me right now" she looked at me before moving slightly away and closer to the window.

The rest of the car ride was in silence.

_Ruth_

I couldn't believe that he had just pulled away from me. Here I was thinking that I was providing comfort and he refused it. I was hurt on so many levels, but I willed myself not to think about it. After all, he was the one hurting.

Once we got to the hospital, Martin ran out of the car before it stopped. I thanked the driver and went in after him. I could see Lucy, Kevin, my Mom, and Dad waiting in the corridor.

"Ruthie" Lucy cried as she ran to give me a hug and I hugged her back. Her eyes were red and swollen.

"Are Simon and Sandy okay?" I finally asked and before Lucy could reply I heard Martin yell out and collapse to the floor in tears.

"What's the matter?" I demanded as Lucy stopped me and said "They're dead"

"Who is?" I repeated slightly growing numb.

"They all died instantly, the paramedics tried everything but it was too late" Lucy replied sniffling before saying "We are going to wait outside, in case you need anything" I nodded as I gave my parents a quick hug and knelt down by Martin.

"Martin?" I said softly as he looked at me. His green eyes filled with tears, and sadness and anger.

"They're gone Ruth. My son is dead, this wasn't suppose to happen" and with that he broke down and I held him to me.

"I'm sorry Martin" I apologized as I let him cry and rubbed his back.

"Mr. Brewer?" a man said as he walked up to us.

Martin moved away from me and wiped his eyes before standing up and replying "That's me"

"I'm Dr. Boyd, would you please come this way to identify the bodies"

"I'll come with you" I began as Martin shook his head before suggesting "I need to do this alone. Why don't you go home and I'll give you a call later" and without even looking at me walked down the hallway with Dr. Boyd.

I watched him leave feeling slightly confused and off balanced. What was going on in his head? I walked out the hospital and saw Kevin and Lucy waiting for me.

"Where's Martin?" Kevin asked before giving me a hug.

"He's identifying the bodies" I replied as Lucy exclaimed "By himself? Why didn't you go with him?"

"Because he specifically told me to go home" I snapped as the tears started falling down my face.

Lucy looked at me in surprise and tenderly said "Let's just go home. We have a lot to do"

I nodded slightly as I got into the back seat of their car and leaned my head against the window. If Martin didn't want me with him for something this difficult, would he want me for anything at all?

**Four days later**

_Martin_

After the burial, we went back to my house for the reception. I saw Ruth speaking with some people who knew Simon and Sandy.

I waited until they left and quietly said to her "Could we go somewhere?" she nodded and we went outside.

"I've been thinking lately that maybe we made a mistake" I began as Ruth looked wonderingly at me before asking "What kind of mistake?"

"Maybe we shouldn't be together"

"Together as in how?" she repeated as she looked up at me. When I looked down at her, I smiled slightly.

She was so beautiful, even in the face of tragedy. Her normally bronzed skin was slightly pale, but her eyes which were always so warm and trusting were looking at me with disbelief and pity.

"Together as dating, as being married…" I dropped off as she stepped closer to me and said "Why the hell would we forget about it? We love each other. I love you. I thought you loved me as well"

"I _did_ love you" I whispered harshly stopping slightly as she took a step back and held back a gasp, as I continued, "I mean that I love you, I'm just not in love with you"

"But last week…" she began as I coldly said "Last week was a different world. My son was alive last week. Now everything is messed up and I can't do it Ruth"

"Do what?"

"I can't open my heart to the possibility of being hurt"

"But that's what love is about"

"Well then I refuse to have it in my life"

"And what about me?" she demanded to know, her brown eyes burning with unhidden anger.

"I'm sorry" I began as she snorted and I continued "But I just can't"

"If you mean that Martin then there is nothing more for me to say" she sadly replied as she walked away and then turned around saying "I'm not going to wait for you my whole life. I understand that you are grieving and you are sad. I'm going to go back home and in three months if you feel the same, then it will be over"

"Fine" I replied just as she walked back and kissed my cheek "take care of yourself Brewer" and for the second time in my life, I let the woman of my dreams walk away. However this time, I knew I had made the right decision. I had lost my son because I was too selfish with my own wants. I would make sure that wouldn't happen again.

_Ruth_

I couldn't believe that Martin Brewer just told me he didn't want to marry me. For some reason he was blaming our relationship as the cause of his son's death and I knew that I would never be able to compete with that.

I saw that Mac was talking to my Dad as I walked over to them. As soon as Mac saw my face, he pulled me away and into the kitchen.

"What happened?" as I replied "He doesn't want to be with me. It's as though he's blaming our relationship, better yet me, as the reason Thomas is gone"

"Ruthie" Mac began softly as he pulled me into a hug "You know you are not the reason for this tragedy"

"Try telling that to him" I replied hotly before completely breaking down in tears.

"My whole world is over" I cried as Mac held me tighter and said "No it's not. Martin will come around. He loves you too much. Just give him some time"

Just then Martin himself walked into the kitchen, stopping as he saw us hugging one another and without saying a word, turned and walked out.

"I'm going to speak to him" Mac promised me as I shrugged and said "I'm going to say bye to everyone and leave"

"I'll see you tomorrow" he promised me before kissing the top of my head and walking out the kitchen.

I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself before walking out as well. After all just because my world had crumbled didn't mean everyone needed to know.


	7. Chapter 7

Life 7

Mac walked up to Martin and lowly said "What are you doing man?"

"What do you mean?"

"You are breaking her heart"

"I just need some time. Will you watch over her?"

"You know I will"

_Martin_

The next two months flew by as I went to work and home. Most Sundays, I found myself at the Camden's for dinner since it was the only day that I couldn't work.

Nights were the hardest, because that would be when I thought about Ruth and what she was doing. I didn't know what to say or how to say it because I knew at this point in my life, I wouldn't be able to give myself completely to her.

One afternoon I got out of work early and came home. In my mailbox there was a letter addressed to me.

I opened it up and read it twice before going upstairs and packing an small bag. I then called Kevin.

"Kinkirk residence"

"Hey"

"Martin? How are you?"

"Not well. I was wondering if you could take me to the airport"

"Sure, is everything okay?"

"It will be" I said as Kevin said "I'll be there be in twenty"

"So where are going?" Kevin finally asked when we reached the airport.

"To New York. I'm going to see Ruth"

"Good for you. Give her a hug from me"

"I will" I promised and got out the car, the letter stashed in my bag. Ruth was the only person who would be able to help me with this. I only hoped I wasn't too late.

_Meanwhile _

_Ruth_

"Hey" Mac greeted as he walked into my apartment. I was wearing sweats and eating a carton of Rum Raisen ice cream. In the background you could hear Joni Mitchell crooning "Both sides now"

"How many times have you been listening to this!" Mac exclaimed as he shut it off and grabbed the ice cream from me as he continued saying "We are going out tonight. Go put on something hot and I'll take you dancing"

"I don't feel like dancing" I replied simply as I grabbed the ice cream back.

"Ruth Camden" he began "You need to stop wallowing listening to this depressing music. You gave him three months, live it up. You know as well as I do that he's going to come back"

"Maybe not this time" I replied softly as the tears rolled down.

"See you need a drink. Let's go" and with that he pulled me up from the couch and shoved me towards my bedroom.

Half an hour later, I came out wearing low rider jeans, a black wife beater and jean jacket. I also had on black boots and gold hoops.

"Sexy enough for you?" I asked dryly as Mac smiled his approval and we left.

Once we got to the club, Mac went straight up to the bar and ordered tequila.

"Who's the tequila for?" I asked him as I looked around the club. There were a lot of people there and a couple of them started looking at me.

I downed the first tequila and Mac smiled his approval as he said "I'll get you another" and left. Just then a guy came up and said "Ruth Camden? I love your music"

"Thanks" I replied smiling politely as he nervously shuffled and said "would you mind performing that remix that just came out?"

"The hips don't lie one?" I ask as he nodded. "Sure, but I'll need a rapper."

"I can lip-sync if you want"

"What the heck" I agreed as we went onto stage and the opening beats to my song went on. As soon as I started to belly dance the crowd went wild.

After two more songs, I got off the stage and everyone went back to dancing. I walked over to Mac, who was still at the bar. He smiled at me and ask "When did you learn to belly dance?"

"Last year. Just for exercise" I replied as I downed tequila.

"Okay missy, I think you've had enough"

I pouted slightly before making a face and running to the bathroom. I made it just in time. A few minutes later, Mac walked into the ladies room and helped me out to the car.

"I threw up" I stated to him as he nodded and said "I know Sweetie"

"Why did you let me drink so much?"

"I'm sorry, I should have known better"

By the time we reached my apartment, I got out and was barely able to walk. As we walked up the front steps, I stopped and puked once more in the bushes. That's when I heard a deep voice.

"Mac? What is wrong with her?"

"Martin? How are ya buddy?' Mac asked as Martin looked at him angrily before turning his attention to me.

"Ruth baby. Can you walk?"

"I'm tired" I replied in a petulant voice as he sighed and swooped me into his arms.

"Martin?" I asked tiredly

"Yes baby?"

"My head hurts"

"I know and it will probably hurt tomorrow as well. Don't worry I'll stay and take care of you"

"Thanks" I replied happily as I snuggled closer to his chest before remembering something else.

"Martin?"

"Hmm"

"I love you"

"I know. I love you too. We'll talk about it in the morning"

"Okay"

By this time we were on our way to my bedroom where he laid me on the bed and helped as I took off my shoes.

"Think you can handle the rest?"

"Yes" I sleepily replied as he nodded and said "Don't fall asleep until you take some aspirin, I'll be back in 2 minutes"

When he returned I had managed to take my jeans off slip underneath the covers.

He gave me some water and the aspirin and watched as I swallowed them down. Then he smiled before lightly kissing my forehead and saying "Get some sleep, I'll be in the living room if you need me"

___Martin_

As I walked into the living room, I could see Mac sitting down waiting for me. Before he opened his mouth, I said "What the hell were you thinking letting her drink!"

"I didn't know she would get drunk. She was moping around and eating ice cream and listening to that stupid Joni Mitchell song and I was tired of her hurting, so I took her out! Sue me"

"What would have happened if I wasn't here?"

"I would have taken care of her as I have been doing for the past two months when you so callously told her you weren't ready to be in a relationship with her. Remember?"

I stopped suddenly as my shoulders dropped. Mac was right. I had no right to barge in and take over when he was the one who had been there with her.

"I'm sorry, it's just when it comes to her"

"I know" Mac interrupted before adding "You get crazy. I understand. Your girl is hot. She performed that 'Hips' song at the club and they were all over her"

"Really" I asked as I felt my fingers automatically clench into a fist.

"Relax. I made sure there was no inappropriate touching" Mac said as he sat back and said "What brings you here?"

"I just got a letter that changes a lot of things in my life and Ruth's and I miss her...you know?"

"Yeah" Mac replied seriously as he continued "It's almost as though she is the oxygen and you keep coming back because you need it to survive."

"Yes" I replied slowly as I looked over at Mac. This was the first time I had seen him serious about any girl in a while.

"Are you...did you" I began not quite sure on how to approach it and dreading it at the same time.

"Naw, you have always been THE ONE Martin. No one else" Mac quietly reassured me before standing up "I'll see you two later. Try not to get her up too early; she is going to have a really bad headache. Plus she has a benefit concert tomorrow night"

"Speaking from experience?" I teased as Mac laughed and said "once or twice"

As Mac walked out he turned around and said "Martin? Let me make this clear. You better be here to tell her you are ready because if you are not, we are through. She doesn't deserve this"

"I know" I replied softly as I looked him in the face and said "That's why I 'm here"

After Mac left, I went back to check on Ruthie. She was sleeping peacefully. As I made my way over to the bed, I noticed that she had our picture on her nightstand.

She turned once and sleepily opened one eye "Hey"

"Hi" I softly replied as she patted the bed and said "Come keep me company while I sleep"

"Okay" I agreed readily as I walked over and joined her on the bed. I figured that I would wait until she fell asleep and then go into her guest room.

She moved closer to me, wrapped her arms around my waist, sighed and went back to bed.

"Great" I mumbled to myself as I realized she had ineffectively ruined my plan. It was going to be a long night.


	8. Chapter 8

Life 8

_Ruthie_

I woke up the next morning lying on something that was warm yet firm. As I slowly tried to get up I noticed a pair of arms around me.

I then jumped out taking note of Martin's undressed state, only boxers, and I had only a shirt on.

"_Oh my goodness! What did I do last night?"_ I hastily tried to remember the events of the previous evening. I knew that Mac had taken me to some club and I had a drink, but where did Martin come in and why was he in my bed? More importantly why was he here?

"Morning" Martin said sleepily as I looked at him in horror before punching him in the shoulder "I can't believe you took my virginity and I was drunk"

"What!" Martin exclaimed as he jumped out of bed and stood on the other side facing me.

I got up as well and continued "I mean sure I was drunk but at least you could have had the decency to wait until I was sober enough to enjoy it"

"First of all, we did not engage in any kind of sexual behavior and secondly if we did, you would have definitely remembered"

I blushed slightly as I looked at him and saw a huge hickey on the left side of his neck.

"Martin, what hussy gave you that?"

"Gave me what?" he repeated slightly annoyed as I grabbed his arm and pulled him to my full length mirror which not only showed him the humongous hickey but the fact that I didn't have any pants on.

"Turn around" I commanded him as I went rummaging for a pair of shorts as he complied and then said "Well, as you so eloquently stated, that hussy would be you"

"What are you talking about?" I asked walking in front of him once again.

"You. Last night when you decided that you wanted to make out with me"

"Oh my goodness, this is not happening" I repeated softly to myself as I shook my head slightly.

Martin smirked at me and crossed his arms in front of his chest until I replied "Why didn't you stop me?'

"I did stop you when you tried removing my boxers"

"How drunk was I?" I mumbled as Martin laughed and said "No harm done. Why don't we take a shower and go get some breakfast"

"Okay" I agreed hurrying to get out of the room with as little eye contact as possible.

As I was in the shower, I couldn't believe that I had practically mauled Martin. How embarrassing was that? Once I got out, I threw on a pair of hip hugger jeans and a white shirt and did my hair in a bun.

I walked out to the kitchen and called out "Martin? Are you ready to go?"

He walked behind me in a clean pair of khakis and blue shirt and held his hand up as he was speaking on his cell phone. He looked really great. Once he was finished he said "Ready?"

"Yes" I replied jumping up and walking out of the apartment with him.

After breakfast, we were heading back when Martin said "I have a couple of errands to run and I need to find a suit for tonight"

"Right for the benefit concert"

"So what songs are you singing?"

"Two new ones. I have to leave at 4:30 for sound check but Mac will probably pick you up"

"Okay" Martin replied as he took my hand.

I looked over at Martin and said "Not that I'm unhappy you are here, but why are you here?"

"There is something we need to discuss and something that I recently found out that affects us both"

"Oh, what is it?"

"I figured we could talk about it later on tonight"

"Why not now?" I asked pouting as Martin laughed and said "Because then you will have a million questions that I won't be able to answer"

"Hmm. So how long are you staying?"

"As long as it takes"

"For what?" I asked as Martin was about to explain but thought better and pulled me closer before firmly kissing me on the lips.

When we pulled apart I protested a bit before Martin hugged me to his side and we continued walking, my questions totally forgotten.

_Martin_

Around 7:00 that night, Mac finally showed up.

"You look nice" he commented as he walked in and went straight to the fridge to get a bottle of water as he turned around to look at me he said "Dude! I can't believe you came here with proof that you cheated on Ruth"

"What are you talking about?" I asked him annoyed as he pointed to the hickey on my neck.

"I didn't cheat" I calmly replied as Mac did a double take and said "You didn't man"

"Didn't what?"

"You two broke up?"

"Who?"

"You and Ruth? You are over?"

"No"

"Martin, you are the most exasperating person to speak to. If you didn't cheat on Ruth but you two are still together then the only reasonable answer is..." and then Mac's mouth fell open before he asked "Ruth did that?"

"Not purposely, she was half asleep" I replied blushing slightly as I asked "Is it really noticeable?"

"Yes. So our little innocent Ruth is a biter. Who would have known?"

"Not I" I replied smiling slightly before thinking how close they were.

"Hey Mac, did anything ever happen between you two?"

"Just once " Mac replied softly before looking me in the eye. "We kissed. It was 6 months ago and I am sorry to say that tequila was the cause of it. It didn't mean anything for Ruth"

"Oh" I replied slightly relieved that nothing else had happened but also a little annoyed.

"It was stupid and Ruth said she wanted to forget, so I left it alone" Mac continued as I nodded slightly.

"So are we ready to go?" Mac finally ask as we walked out the door.

Once we were seated, the concert began. Then Ruth was introduced and the crowd went wild. She looked beautiful in a white long dress and her hair was set up in a chignon and her feet were bare.

"Thank you for coming out and supporting this worthy cause. I hope you enjoy the evening" and then the spotlight went on her and she started singing

_Say it's true, there's nothing like me and you  
I'm not alone, tell me you feel it too _

_And I would runaway  
I would runaway, yeah, yeah  
I would runaway  
I would runaway with you_

_'Cos I am falling in love with you  
No never I'm never gonna stop  
Falling in love with you_

She then moved closer to the crowd as she knelt down in the center of the stage and continued singing

_Close the door, lay down upon the floor  
And by candlelight, make love to me through the night  
(through the night, through the night)_

_'Cos I am falling in love (falling in love) with you  
No never, I'm never gonna stop  
Falling in love with you  
With you_

_'Cos I am falling in love (falling in love) with you  
No never I'm never gonna stop  
Falling in love with you_

_(I am) falling in love (falling in love) with you  
No never I'm never gonna stop falling in love with you_

_With you, my love, with you (with you)  
na ni na ni na na  
(With you, with you)  
na ni na ni na na  
(With you, with you)  
na ni na ni na na_

As the applause died down she stood up and then the temp began the next song

_I could lose my heart tonight,  
if you don't turn and walk away  
Cause the way I feel I might  
lose control and let you stay  
Cause I could take you in my arms,  
And never let go  
I could fall in love with you  
I could fall in love with you_

_I could only wonder how  
touching you would make me feel  
But if I take that chance right now,  
tomorrow will you want me still?  
(Baby will you want me?)  
So I should keep this to myself,  
And never let you know  
I could fall in love with you  
(I could fall in love with you)  
I could fall in love with you _

And I know it's not right,  
and I guess I should try  
to do what I should do  
But I could fall in love,  
fall in love, with you  
I could fall in love with you

So I should keep this to myself,  
And never let you know  
I could fall in love with you  
I could fall in love with you  
I could fall in love, (fall in love)  
I could fall in love, (fall in love) with you  
I could fall in love with you.

Once she was finished she bowed and walked off stage.

Mac whispered to me "Every time she performs she amazes me, you know?"

"Yes" I replied in awe as we sat back to enjoy the rest of the show.

After the concert was over, we met Ruth backstage. She had changed into a black strapless gown and her hair was still up.

"What did you think?" she asked Mac, her eyes shining as Mac bent down to kiss her cheek.

"Flawless as usual" she smiled her thanks before sticking her tongue out at him. He merely nodded and they both started laughing.

As I watched them, I couldn't help but feel jealous of their natural banter. It was easy to see that they spent a lot of time together and that was nobody's fault but my own.

Maybe I was being selfish showing up and effectively staking my place in Ruth's life. It was bad enough with this new development that we still had yet to speak about.

"Martin! Are you listening?" I heard Ruth's impatient tone as I snapped back to reality.

I looked to see just us standing there. "Where's Mac?' I asked as I looked around.

"He had a date tonight" she replied as she linked arms with me and said "So what's on the agenda tonight Mr. Brewer?"

"Dinner and then bed."

"What about our talk?"

"Oh right. If you are not too sleepy."

"Are you kidding me! I am definitely not sleepy"

Once we arrived home, I took off my suit jacket and rolled my sleeves up. "Why don't you go relax and I'll start dinner" I suggested walking towards the kitchen then stopping "If you do have groceries?"

"I do" Ruth protested and when I raised my eyebrow she laughed and said "Mac went shopping yesterday. Scout's honor"

"Okay" I replied walking into the kitchen.

_Ruth_

I went into my room and changed into sweats and Martin's old college T-Shirt that I had taken a while ago.

As I padded back into the kitchen I saw that he was chopping vegetables for the salad.

"Need help?" I offered as I came up next to him.

He seemed startled for a second and then said "Sure, you can chop the cucumbers"

We worked side by side in comfortable silence and then I went to set the table.

Once I returned to the kitchen I remarked "This is nice"

"What is?"

"Being together, cooking dinner"

"Yes it is" he agreed as he tossed fresh vegetables to the already steaming pasta.

"It's something I could get use to"

"Me too" Martin agreed quietly.

Once we had said grace and was eating, the phone rang.

"Excuse me" I replied getting up to answer.

"Camden residence"

"Ruthie! How are you?" Lucy said as I smiled and replied "I'm fine. How is everyone at home?"

"Doing as well as can expected. I was checking to make sure Martin got there in one piece."

"Yes he did. We are in the middle of dinner"

"Oh! I'm sorry to interrupt. I'll call back another time. Give Martin our love"

"I will" I promised before hanging the phone up. I walked back to the dining room when Martin looked up.

"Everything alright?"

"Yes. Lucy wanted to make sure you were safe"

"Oh" Martin replied before resuming finishing his dinner.

After dinner, I cleared the table and Martin started washing the dishes.

Once everything was finished, we made our way to the living room.

Martin turned to me and began by saying "I'm not sure how to even begin" he started before continuing "Friday afternoon, I came home early and took the mail out of my box and I got this letter"

_Dear Martin,_

_As you leave to New York with hopes of proposing to Ruth, there is something you should know. I've tried a million times to tell you but each time I've lost my courage. Once you know the truth, everything will change and it will all be my fault. I guess I should just say it._

_Martin, Thomas Brewer is not your biological son. I've known since you had the paternity test and I forged it. I was so frightened and I didn't know what was going to happen. Simon and Rose were engaged and I was miserable and unhappy and I wanted you to be as well._

_Oh yes even then I knew that you were in love with Ruth Camden, and even though she was upset at you, she still forgave you and your relationship grew stronger. Then I found out that Thom was not yours, which for me at the time was the last blow._

_I knew that there was a possibility that Thom was not yours because I had slept with other guys around the same time, who had similar features as you. What can I say, green eyes and black hair are a deadly combination._

"She's got that right" I mumbled as Martin looked up at me and I looked back at the letter.

_I am truly sorry that it's taken six years to tell you this and I'm not sure what this means for Thomas, and you or Simon and Ruth. Yes Simon knows. I told him yesterday and to say he was upset would be an understatement._

_I'm sorry Martin and I'm sorry Ruth. You've been kept apart far too long because of me._

_Sandy Camden_

I reread the letter and then looked over at Martin. I didn't know what to say. I was partly upset and partly relieved. Was it even wrong to think ill of the dead? I would have to ask Lucy. I finally took a deep breath and asked "Does anyone else know about this?"

"No, at least not from me. I read it and flew straight here on Friday"

I winced in remembrance of my brazen behavior and felt ten times worse. Here Martin had come for reassurance and solace and I had mauled him to death and flirted with his best friend.

"I'm sorry Martin" I finally said as he looked me straight in the eye "and I'm sorry as well"

"What for?" I wanted to know.

"For not doing what my heart told me to do six years ago" and with that he pulled out a blue Tiffany box and opened it. There in the velvet laid a diamond carat ring emblazoned with rubies on the side.

Martin bent down on his left knee and softly said in that deep voice I loved "Ruth Camden, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"


	9. Chapter 9

Life 9

_Martin_

I looked up at Ruth who seemed shocked and had tears in her eyes.

She nodded and then replied "Yes" very softly before I leaped up to kiss her on the lips.

When I pulled away she leaned closer and started kissing me once more.

Finally I moved slightly and she giggled happily before turning serious "I don't want a long engagement"

"Me too" I agreed

"And I want to get married in Glen Oak"

"Okay"

"In two weeks"

"Two weeks" I asked as I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Yes, that coincides with my contract ending and then I can negotiate it to be able to record at home in Glen Oak"

"Do you really want to live there? I was planning on selling my house"

"Yes I want to live to live in Glen Oak"

"Are you okay with me selling the house and finding somewhere else to live?"

"Sure" she replied as she held out her left hand and admirably looked at her finger.

"Do you want to call anyone?" I asked as I placed my arm around her shoulder and she leaned on my chest.

"No I want to tell them in person. I'm going to sing at our high school next week, so then"

"Okay" I agreed as she looked at me and said "Are you going to stay until then?"

"No. I'm going to go home tomorrow and start looking at houses and realtors, etc"

"Well don't ruin the surprise. Tell them nothing" she demanded as I chuckled a little and then stopped when I caught her glaring at me.

"I promise" She smiled once more and then asked "Hey Martin?"

"Hmm?"

"How upset are you about Thomas?"

"I'm not upset per say. I'm disappointed and angry and I feel foolish but despite all those feelings I'm sad as well. How angry can I be when they are all dead?" and as the words came from my mouth, I realized that I would finally be able to grieve and I did as the tears started falling and Ruth wordlessly held me offering me her love, warmth, and comfort.

The next morning I woke up with a stiff neck and sore arm. As I turned my head I realized that Ruth had fallen asleep on my arm.

I smiled as I held her closer. I couldn't believe that in two weeks she would become mine in body and soul.

Ruth stirred slightly as she opened one eye and then beamed at me as she said "I can't wait to wake up to you every morning"

"Me too" I replied as she stood up and stretched. I couldn't help but stare at her as she stopped and blushed "What?"

"Nothing" I replied self-conscious that she had caught me ogling her.

Luckily I had learn through the years on how to be a patient man, but even I knew my limit and the sooner I left Ruth, the easier it would be wait until after the wedding.

"So what's for breakfast?" she asked turning to me.

"Do you want to go out or stay in?" I asked as I got up as well.

"Out. We can get bagels and coffee at the corner"

"Okay I'm going to take a shower" I said as she nodded and walked into her bedroom to shower as well.

Twenty minutes later, I threw on jeans and a long sleeve shirt as I walked back into the living room looking for my baseball cap.

Ruth walked in wearing jeans and a ruffled white shirt and her hair was tied back in a ponytail with my hat on.

"I was looking for that" I complained as Ruth looked at me and replied "Were you? It looks better on me, don't you agree?"

I looked at her, contemplating it for a moment before sighing "I guess so."

Ruth playfully slapped my arm before I pulled her to me and kissed her on the lips. Before we pulled apart, we heard Mac say "This early in the morning, do you ever stop?"

"Do you ever knock?" I shot back annoyed as Ruth laughed and said "Good Morning Mac. How was the date?"

"Pretty good" he replied smiling and asking "So what are we doing for breakfast?"

"Coffee and bagels" Ruth replied smiling as we moved towards the door.

"Well she's mighty chipper" Mac replied in a low tone to me as we followed. I merely nodded we stepped outside.

When we got to the bagel store, Ruth found a table and Mac and I went to the counter to order.

"So you really had a great time?" I asked Mac as he nodded and ask "How about you two? Did you have that talk?"

"Yes" I replied softly before divulging "I found out Thomas on Friday that Thomas was not my child"

"How" Mac asked horrified.

"A letter that Sandy wrote. She must have mailed it the day I flew here, six months ago"

"Wow man. I'm sorry. What would you have done if the accident hadn't happened?"

"Nothing. What could I do? Thomas already knew me as his dad. Would it have been fair to him because his mother made a mistake?"

"Well I suppose you are right, but do you see it as a mistake?"

"Yes a horrible one, but we are all human. We all make mistakes"

"How the hell can you be so calm? She messed up six years of your life. You could have been married with kids to Ruth! You could have gone pro!"

"I still have time for that" I quickly replied.

"Well not pro man" Mac quickly interjected as I laughed.

We bought the bagels and coffee and were talking when halfway through breakfast Mac stopped, looked at Ruth's hand and grabbed it "When did this happen?" he demanded.

"Last night" Ruth replied smiling as Mac got up pulling her to her feet and giving her a hug.

He then looked at me, slapping me on the back "Congratulations you sly dog"

"Thank you" I replied as Ruth said "It's in two weeks"

"Two weeks?" Mac repeated in disbelief "but who is going to plan it? You're still recording"

"I know. Martin is going home tomorrow and he is going to do everything"

"Everything?" I repeated in disbelief before confessing "I envisioned booking the church and ordering the flowers"

"Nope. The only thing you won't have to worry about is my dress and the honeymoon"

"Well it sounds as though you are going to need some help" Mac thoughtfully suggested as Ruth beamed at him and exclaimed "Thank you for agreeing to help" and she gave him a hug and tiptoed to kiss his cheek, as Mac stuttered "I didn't….I mean… Okay what do you need me to do?"

I laughed out loud as Mac looked at me with a frown. I smiled back and suggested "Maybe you could order the flowers"

"Great idea, I can definitely do that" Mac said feeling better.

"Martin, when you book the church just let Lucy know that I'm getting married but don't tell her that you are the groom"

"Okay" I replied smiling as I took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. I didn't have the heart to tell her that once her entire family knew she would be getting married, they would automatically assume it was to me and wouldn't be too surprised.

The next morning, I woke up early since I had to be at the airport by 7:00 a.m.I was surprised to see that Ruth was awake and had breakfast ready.

"Since when do you get up so early?" I questioned as she stuck her tongue out and said "I wanted to make sure I was able to say bye without an audience"

"Oh" I replied as she walked up and kissed me softly on the lips. I murmured in agreement as I pulled her closer to reciprocate and Mac walked in and said "Thank goodness you are leaving today!"

"Morning to you as well" I replied as Ruth pulled away from me to give Mac a kiss on his cheek and said "Are you all packed?"

"Yes. I'll call you when I land"

"Okay, I'll see you next week. I love you"

"Love you too" I replied smiling as I kissed her one last time and followed Mac out who said to Ruthie "I'll see you later for dinner"

"You're taking me to a restaurant" she called out as we left.

"Your girl is sort of demanding" Mac said to me as we got into his car.

"Yes she is" I responded smiling.

When I landed at the airport I was surprised to see Mr. Camden waiting for me.

"Mr. Camden! I didn't know you were coming"

Eric smiled as he gave Martin a hug "You know you can call me Eric or Dad if everything went as you planned?"

"It did" I replied smiling broadly as Eric gave me another hug and I warned him "Ruth wants to keep it a surprise until she comes home next week"

"My lips are sealed"

"There's one more thing"

"What's that?"

"She wants to get married within the next two weeks"

"And you agreed?"

"Well it's kind of hard for me to deny her much of anything" I sheepishly confessed as Eric laughed and muttered "Young love" before stating "I think we may be able to pull it off then" and with that we walked out the airport smiling.


	10. Chapter 10

_Two weeks Later_

_Martin_

The next two weeks flew by and the morning of the wedding, I woke up to a blue, clear sunny sky. I grinned as I walked out the garage apartment and into the main house.

Once I had the sold the house, Annie had suggested that I stay with them until after the wedding so I wouldn't have to be by myself. I was grateful and touched that she would think of that and of course accepted right away.

As I walked up the stairs, I thought back to the day when Ruth had arrived to 'surprise' everyone with her announcement. It was during dessert.

_Flashback_

"_Mom? Dad?" Ruth said smiling as she looked at her family and Martin. They had been playing it cool ever since she returned home; stealing kisses when they thought no one was looking._

"_I'm getting married"_

"_Well yes sweetie, we noticed that when we saw the engagement ring. It is so beautiful" Annie replied as she smiled at Ruth._

"_Don't you want to know whom to?" Ruth said as the family looked at one another and then looked at Martin. _

_Ruth noticed them and turned to Martin yelling "I can't believe you told them without me!" with tears in her eyes as Martin stood up and replied "I didn't tell them anything"_

"_Wait, you mean it's true?" Lucy asked smiling as Annie started crying. _

"_What's true?" Ruth demanded as she looked at them._

"_You're marrying Martin? Oh Ruthie we are so happy" and with that everyone was on their feet hugging and congratulating them as Eric gave Martin a smile. _

"_You knew?" Annie asked in disbelief as Eric turned to her and said "Well honey, Martin did ask for Ruth's hand"_

"_Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded as everyone started laughing. Ruth and Martin looked at one another and came closer before kissing each other._

"_Um guys why don't you wait until the wedding?" Lucy suggested as Annie said "When will the wedding be?"_

'_Two weeks" Ruth replied happily as Annie's eyes grew wide and she promptly fainted_

I smiled as I remembered how everyone had pitched in, once they got over the initial shock of the wedding date, and today it was here.

I walked into Ruth's old room, where I could barely make out her small frame amidst the pillows and comforter.

"Ruth" I whispered softly as I sat down on the bed "Time to wake up"

"Don't wanna" she mumbled as she continued "Too tired"

"Don't you want to marry me?" I continued, pouting slightly as she jumped out and looked at me with a bright smile "I'm getting married today"

"So am I" I replied smiling back as she leaned forward and kissed me.

I murmured in agreement before kissing her back and pulling her onto the bed with me. As we continued kissing, my hands found their way into the gorgeous mass of her curly locks as she tried to move closer to me.

"Why don't we wait until she actually becomes your wife and then your hands can go anywhere they please" Mr. Camden said sternly as we pulled apart.

"I'm sorry Mr. Camden…" I began sheepishly as Ruth jumped up and ran over to her dad giving him a huge bear hug "Daddy, I'm getting married today"

"Yes honey you are." Eric replied smiling softly as he looked at her and gave her a hug back.

"Why don't we head downstairs and have some breakfast" Eric suggested as Ruth walked ahead of us and ran down the stairs.

_Ruth_

I walked into the kitchen where Mom was making blueberry pancakes "Mommy" I cried as she turned to look at me "I'm getting married today"

"Yes sweetie you are" Annie agreed as she hugged her and they both started crying slightly jumping as Eric andMartin joinedus in the kitchen.

"Morning" Martin said as Mom and I stopped jumping and took a seat, joining them.

"Only five hours to go" I whispered to myself as I looked off into space and sighed a little as I stood up.

"Where are you going?" Martin asked me and I rolled my eyes and said "To get ready. I'll see you at the church" as I bent down and kissed his cheek.

_Five Hours later_

"Are you ready?" my dad asked me as he stepped inside the room. I turned to him and asked "How do I look?"

"Beautiful as always" he replied before hugging me. Just then Lucy walked in with a CD and a note.

"Ruthie!" She gasped as the tears filled her eyes "You look beautiful"

"Thanks" I replied as she hugged me and then said "Martin gave this to me. He wants you to listen to it"

I looked at her and she shrugged before I walked over to the CD player and pressed play. Soon we heard:

_Every time our eyes meet  
This feeling inside me  
Is almost more than I can take  
Baby when you touch me  
I can feel how much you love me  
And it just blows me away  
I've never been this close to anyone or anything  
I can hear your thoughts  
I can see your dreams _

I don't know how you do what you do  
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better  
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side  
Forever and ever  
Every little thing that you do  
Baby I'm amazed by you

I smiled as the song ended and my dad looked at me and said "Well I think it's time"

As we walked to the back of the church I could see everyone was sitting down waiting for me to make my entrance. I watched as Sam and David walked my Mom down. Then Lucy joined us as my Dad took her arm and they walked down together.

Savannah then came in throwing rose petals on the ground.

Kevin then took my arm and asked "Are you ready to begin the next step in your life?"

"I've always been ready" I stated before smiling and taking a deep breath.

Once we walked into the entry way, the wedding march began followed by:

_Who can say where the road goes  
Where the day flows, only time  
And who can say if your love grows  
As your heart chose, only time_

_Who can say why your heart sighs  
As your love flies, only time  
And who can say why your heart cries  
When your love lies, only time  
_

_Who can say when the roads meet  
That love might be in your heart  
And who can say when the day sleeps  
If the night keeps all your heart  
Night keeps all your heart _

As we walked down the path I could see my mom smiling with tears in her eyes. Mac, who was Martin's best man, was standing beside Martin and was smiling as well. I focused my attention on Martin once more. He looked so handome in his tux. I couldn't believe that I was about to marry the man I have loved for half of my life.

_Martin_

As Ruth walked down on Kevin's arm, I gasped. She looked beautiful. Her white gown was simple. It was a strapless gown with beadedlaceon thebodice and skirt, as well as her train. Her veil covered her beautiful bronzed face and her curly hair was pulled back held up with a tiarra.

She was a vision in white and I knew then how lucky I truly was.


	11. Chapter 11

_Martin_

Mr. Camden then asked "Who gives this woman away?" and he answered his own question, with tears in his eye. Ruth smiled at him and Kevin kissed her cheek before shaking my hand and I took Ruth's hand as we stood in front of her dad.

Mr. Camden began by saying "It is always a joy when your children grow up and meet someone who they believe will be their soul mate. Ruth and Martin stand before us and God, declaring their love for one another through marriage. "

I squeezed Ruth's hand lightly as she squeezed back.

Mr. Camden then continued "Martin and Ruth, in presenting yourselves here today to be joined in marriage, you perform an act of faith. This faith can grow and develop and last, but only if you both decide to make it so. A lasting and growing love is not guaranteed by any ritual. Faults will surface where now you find comfort, and admiration can be shattered by the routine of daily life. Dedication, love, and joy can grow only when you nourish them together. Stand fast in that hope and confidence, having faith in your shared destiny just as strongly as you have faith in yourselves and in one another today. Only with this spirit can you forge a union that will strengthen and endure all the days of your lives."

When he was finished he nodded to me and I turned to Ruth with tears in my eyes "I, Martin Brewer, take you, Ruth Camden, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us."

I then took the ring that Mac handed me and said "Ruth, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of God."

Ruthie then looked up at me and repeated "I, Ruth Camden, take you, Martin Brewer, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us."

At this point she stopped as the tears began falling faster and I took the pad of my thumb and wiped them off her silky skin. She smiled slightly before continuing "Martin, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the name of God."

Mr. Camden smiled at both of us and said "With this statement made of love and trust, which we have just heard, I now invite you to greet Martin and Ruth as husband and wife. May this day shine eternally in your lives, May it add brilliance to every achievement and cast a divine light over any misfortune, May you care for each other in all sadness, May you give cheer to each other. May you give vitality to each other in all undertakings, and May all that is virtuous, beautiful and honest, remain with you always. You may kiss your bride" but before he had finished saying that I had already taken the veil from Ruth's face and had pulled her in for a kiss.

"I now would like to present Mr. & Mrs. Martin Brewer" I heard Mr. Camden saying as Ruth opened her mouth allowing me to deepen our kiss.

"Dude!" Mac hissed at us as we pulled apart slightly "Save that for later. Everyone is waiting for you to walk down the aisle"

I reluctantly let Ruth go, not before kissing her once more and we walked down the aisle together holding hands. As we went into the limo that was waiting outside for us, I pulled her into her arms and kissed her once more.

"I can't believe we are married" she said as she pulled away from me slightly before hugging me.

"I know" I replied softly looking at her.

"Thanks for the song" Ruth said suddenly as I looked at her and smiled before replying "It was nothing. I just wanted you to know how I felt"

Once we arrived at the reception, everyone was already there. We walked in as the D.J announced "Please stand and greet Mr. & Mrs. Martin Brewer".

Once we had made the rounds, I stood up and said "Thank you for coming. I would like to make a toast to my beautiful bride"

Ruth blushed slightly as I looked at her and said "The day you agreed to marry me was one of the happiest days in my life, especially after losing Simon, Sandy and Thom. You have given me the hope and strength to move on and start a family with you and for that I will be eternally grateful."

I stopped a moment before wiping away my tears as Ruth rushed up to me and hugged me. I placed my arm around her waist as I said into the microphone "We all know I can't carry a tune but this song is my wedding present for you."

As the D.J played the song, I took Ruth's hand and led her onto the dance floor.

_from the moment I saw you  
from the moment I looked into your eyes  
there was something about you I knew, I knew  
that we were once in a lifetime  
a treasure impossible to find  
and now I know how lucky I am to have you _

cause I've seen rainbows that  
could take your breath away  
the beauty of the setting sun  
on any given day  
and when it comes to shooting stars  
I have seen a few  
but I've never seen anything  
as beautiful as you

_I can't believe that I have you  
I can't believe that you're here in my arms  
I've been waiting a lifetime for you, for you  
and I've dreamed about you  
pictured in my mind what I would see  
but I never imagined just how beautiful you'd be_

_Because I've seen rainbows that  
could take your breath away  
the beauty of the setting sun  
on any given day  
and when it comes to shooting stars  
I have seen a few  
but I've never seen anything  
as beautiful as you_

As we continued dancing Ruth looked up at me and said "I love you" before standing on her tiptoes and kissing me.

I kissed her back as I picked her up and began to familiarize myself with the contours of her mouth.

Just then we heard Mr. Camden say dryly "I know I told you once it was legal your hands could go anywhere but let's keep it clean for the children's sake"

I blushed slightly before replying "sorry dad". Mr. Camden beamed at me before saying "That's okay. May I cut in?"

"Certainly" I replied smoothly as I walked up to Mrs. Camden and said "Mom? Would you like to dance?"

When the song was over we all sat down and started eating. Just then Mac raised his glass as he asked for everyone to quiet down.

"You know, the trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to actually prove it." Mac began as everyone started laughing and then he turned serious "Martin has been one of my closest and best friends since high school and along with Martin's friendship, came Ruth Camden. The first time I asked him about her, he became defensive and said that she was a package deal. If I couldn't deal with hanging out with her, then we couldn't be friends. That was when I knew that Ruth was someone special and someone truly valuable" He stopped a moment before continuing "I didn't realize how special until six months ago when Martin called asking me to make sure Ruth would be okay when she was in New York. The time Ruth and I spent together only cemented the fact that she was one of a kind. I am proud to call her one of my best friends and I only hope to find a woman half as worthy as Ruth is. Congratulations guys" and with that raised his glass.

Ruth stood up to hug Mac and kissed him on the cheek, as I gave him a hug as well.

Lucy then stood up and said "I guess it's my turn" before looking at Ruth and myself "Martin, ever since you came into our lives we have all loved you like a brother. How fitting is it that it is now official? You and Ruth are soul mates and I wish you every happiness and joy that marriage brings you. Congratulations" and she raised her glass to us.

Finally Mr. Camden stood up and said "When Martin asked for my permission to marry Ruth, I was overjoyed. I remembered when you were both in high school and Bill had mentioned the fact that he always hoped you two would end up marrying one another. That was the first time I realized there may have been something there that I hadn't initially seen. Ruth isour last daughter,our baby girl" Everyone 'awed' as Ruth groaned and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"However" Mr. Camden continued "She always knows what is going on. If you have a question about one of the Camden kids,all you need to do is ask Ruth. Of course she sometimes will not tell you but she always knows. Ruth has always been the most mature child of all our children. Sorry Luce" he said as Lucy protested a bit and Kevin started laughing before stopping at the death glare Lucy shot him.

"I am grateful to know thatour baby girl has found an upstanding man who will protect her and love her, something that Martin has been doing since the day he walked into our yard. Before I finish just a few words of wisdom for the happy couple: Never go to bed on an argument – stay up and fight. Here's to the past for all that you've learned, here's to the present for all that you share and here's to the future, for all that you look forward to together. Ladies and Gentlemen, please raise your glasses to theRuth and Martin."

Once the wedding cake was cut, I saw Ruth go up to the microphone. "Martin? I have loved you from the moment I saw you. Everything we have been through has only strengthened our relationship. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you and to be the mother of your children. This is my wedding present to you" and she started to sing.

_When I fall in love  
It will be forever  
Or I'll never fall in love _

In a restless world  
Like this is  
Love is ended before it's begun  
And too many  
Moonlight kisses  
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

When I give my heart  
It will be completely  
Or I'll never give my heart

And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too  
Is when I fall in love with you

As she stepped down, I took her hand and kissed her softly on the lips.

"So?" she said softly as her brown eyes danced mischievously.

"So?" I repeated softly grinning.

"How rude would it be to leave now?"

"Not too rude. I think they are expecting us to go at any time" At that moment Annie came up to us and said "Feel free to leave anytime" before giving us hugs.

"Thanks Mom" Ruthie said happily as she took my hand and we started making our way to the door. As we were about to leave we heard Lucy's voice "You guys weren't leaving without saying goodbye were you?"

"Of course not Luce" Ruthie said sighing slightly as Lucy gave her and a hug and then turned to hug me.

"Have a great time on your honeymoon" she said softly as Kevin, Mr. Camden, and Mac walked over to hug as us well.

"We will" Ruthie promised them and then said "and don't call us for at least twenty four hours because we won't pick up"

"Why not?" I asked confused as Mac punched me lightly before saying "Dude do I have to explain _everything_ to you?"

I blushed slightly as everyone laughed and Ruth grabbed my hand as we walked out the door.

In the car on the way to the airport, Ruth leaned over and lightly kissed my neck as I sighed in wonderment.

"Honey?" I asked her softly.

"Hmm" she replied intent on kissing a spot where I had gasped out loud.

"You really don't think we are going to be busy for the next twenty four hours do you?" I mean I didn't want to disappoint her, but I didn't want to promise something that I wouldn't be able to deliver.

She chuckled lowly, sending chills up and down my spine "Don't you worry big boy, with what I have planned, it will _definitely _take the next twenty-four hours" and with that she kissed me on the lips.

I smiled slightly before kissing her back. I could tell that being married to Ruth was going to be a rollercoaster of excitement and I couldn't wait.

_Finis_

_It is finally finished! Lyrics by Jim Brickman and Wayne Brady, Celine Dion. I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for all your wonderful reviews and support. Now I can focus on Ruthie and Martin!_


End file.
